Kris 'n' Good Books

dear publisher

2012-01-29T06:47:00.001+08:00

Dear Publisher

Fuck you very much for screwing with the awesome posts I've got scheduled this week with your new brand of WTFery.

While it is true that I myself have an amazing gift and deep appreciation for the exotically random, the lengths of the weird to which you now go are truly beyond the pale.

Seriously, to try and fuck with your clients (ie the readers who actually buy your shit) to the extent of printing the first page of a story on the left-hand side??

It is just so unbelievably wrong that the most technically advanced super computers in the 'verse could not even begin to calculate it.

A book always starts on a right-hand page. ALWAYS.

Is there no end to the levels you will sink?

Hopelessly Despondent in Perth.

maybe it's me, but...

2012-01-27T07:26:00.000+08:00

Truth.

Even more so now I've had to do a couple of too-big-for-me culls.

Now ask me about any regrets I might have...

Yeah, I didn't think there was any point bothering either.

ratings ok, ratings meh

2012-01-23T10:21:00.000+08:00

The other day Jen totally horned in on my ratings series with her post about 'the dreaded three stars'. This included a discussion about what 3 stars actually means to readers and authors.

Besides the fact that Jen is clearly a stealer, a few of the comments reminded me of this and what I'd written in relation to the even-more-dreaded *:P* 2 star rating:

At goodreads, a reader gives a book 2 stars when they think 'it was ok'.

This explanation says it all because, while I probably won't look at it again, the book was a relatively pleasant distraction for how ever long it took me to read it.

Sure it may not have blown me away or anything, and I could have easily gone straight on to the next story without giving it much of a second thought, but it really, truly was okay.

It was. Really, truly okay, that is.

Which leads me to my point...

A '2 star = okay' at goodreads is not the same thing as a '2 star = meh' at other reviewing sites.

One indicates a level of satisfaction was had and the other indifference.

So, no, these are not equivalent terms.

And, yes, everyone should get the fuck over it already.

ratings vs encounters with my baby brother: 16

2012-01-20T05:55:00.000+08:00

My Baby Brother turned up at my doorstep at 6am yesterday and, besides hearing me grumble about mornings and coffees and the natural order of things, had to put up with my back to him as I checked comments, emails, etc on my PC.

The BB: What are you giggling about?

Me: This comment from my mate in the Netherlands.

The BB: Well, share.

Me: *explains how I'm the Queen of Fucking Awesome, which naturally he knew already, and the fact that I therefore have my own army of minions* *reads out comment* *much snorffelling ensues*

The BB: Ha! Nice one. I think she should get Minion of the Month Award for that.

Me: Yep. I'll tell her so.

The BB: *curious* So what was the post about?

Me: *explains about fangurls, minions and sockpuppets and how they can totally fuck up the ratings of books on readers' sites like goodreads*

The BB: And what do you call the people who call them out on what they do?

Me: Kris??

The BB: *snort* Try Tall Poppy.

Me: Fucker.

I hate it when he makes a good point.

This won't, however, stop me from flogging the subject to death.

Obviously.

things that make you go O.o

2012-01-18T11:58:00.001+08:00

Yeah, I know I was going to do a follow-up post (or three) about ratings, but I was cruising the review sites and got sidetracked because... well...

Have you ever noticed that there seems to be a lot of leather and/or denim-clad, weapon-toting chicks on UF and PNR book covers who are looking straight at you?

How do they know we're there?

Do you think it's got something to do with the powers-they-inherited-from-the-family-member-they-never-knew-they-had-who-dies-in-a-suspicious-accident-leaving-them-a-mysterious-object-which-when-they-touch-it-awakes-the-potential-within-them-and-results-in-a-magical-tattoo-mentor-sidekick-love-interest-and-a-shit-load-of-enemies??

Whatever it is, it's creepy.

*whispers* Their eyes follow you. *shudders*

ratings (again) & the 5 stars thing

2012-01-16T11:00:00.001+08:00

When I did the series about ratings last year, the issue of those readers who tend to give everything 4-5 stars was raised and the majority of commenters agreed they either take no notice of these reviews or take them with a pinch of salt.

At the time, I didn't follow this up. Apparently going Teh Cray-Cray affected my ability to be snarky. Who knew such a thing was possible.

Recently, the topic came up again in off-line discussions with a friend and I found myself unable to resist. Oh, yes. I'm back. If somewhat part-timeish.

Anyways, the chat with my mate got me thinking about the high raters, beginning with the fangurls. Let's face it, most of these people do the 5-star thing regardless of how sucky the work might be. You learn pretty quickly who they are and, just as fast, start to avoid them as much as possible.

You also get the authors and their buddy authors. You know who I mean? The authors who give their own books high ratings and their close friends who do the same and vice versa? Yeah. Just FYI; we readers tend to think those who do this look like total douches. Sorry *not really*, but it's the truth.

Finally, there are the minions and the sock-puppets (ie the people who, with amazingly convenient spontaneity, magically appear to join goodreads, blogger, etc at just the 'right' time). They are the ones who go on the attack whenever another reader dares give their beloved anything less than 5 stars. Fuckwits. Seriously people get a life.

Besides, whether or not you have the public or private support of the author to cruise the internet like a mob of fruitcake lemmings with the obvious intention of wankfestery, the end result is that you actually make the person you're trying to 'protect' come across as a dick. Well, you do. It turns other readers completely off. After all, who the hell wants to take the chance reading their work if they're going to end up covered in flies like a pile of shit? The end.

So, what are your thoughts about this? Do you dis/agree? Are there any instances when you've felt obligated to give a higher rating to something? Speak. Or type. Whatever.

maybe it's me, but...

2012-01-14T10:55:00.000+08:00

I've always been a reader who has moments when they fantasise about Teh Big Bookity Dream To End All Dreams.

For me, there are two:

To have the kind of personal library that would be the envy of all my reading friends with shelves from floor to ceiling and rolling ladders ala the library in Disney's Beauty and the Beast. *dreamy sigh*

and

To have one of those old fashioned book stores. You know, the kind that's warm and welcoming with hidden reading nooks which invite you to snuggle in, take a deep breath and enjoy losing yourself in the story. Unfortunately, you don't see a lot of these anymore. I so miss them.

So, are you a reader who's ever had these kind of dreams? I'd love to know what they are. :)

things that make you go O.o

2012-01-12T08:54:00.000+08:00

I don't even have the words to express how wrong I think this is.

I'm going to have nightmares tonight.

I know it.

bookity mehs: part 3

2012-01-10T08:30:00.000+08:00

I have Teh Awesomesauce.

Last night I read.

READ!

*mutterfuckingfinallymutter*

bookity mehs: part 2

2012-01-08T08:27:00.001+08:00

As part of this online community, you've probably seen a gazillion posts asking you what you do when you're in the reading doldrums.

In fact, I'm pretty sure I've done one myself, which I would totally revisit if I could be bothered.

Laziness = Kris.

Anyhoo, my usual method of dealing with the bookity mehs is to glom TV series until I get bored shitless with them and am in desperate need of a reading fix.

At the moment, though, I seem to have had enough of a series about the end-of-seasonish. This finds me starting a whole new series with one or two episodes left to go in the last... and then I stop and start another... and then another... well, you get the picture.

Teh Toy Poodle Flu. I haz it.

On other occasions, I'm able to kill the slumpity dead by rereading stuff which appeals to my mood at the time.

Unfortunately, this has pretty much been happening when insomnia strikes so I'm usually going straight to books that bore the complete and utter crap out of me in an attempt to try and get back to snoozing.

Hey, whatever works, right.

One thing I've come to realise over this past week is that, when I do turn to books, it's not so much as a reread as it is a skim-job.

And not so much a skim as it is a flick to the sex scenes.

Yeah.

Further proof I'm a perve.

Like there was any doubt.

Does anyone else do that? Reread sex scenes, that is. C'mon, fess up. You know you want to. ;)

bookity mehs: part 1

2012-01-06T07:05:00.001+08:00

As I've mentioned a couple of times, I had the reading slumpity to end all slumpities in 2011.

Out of curiousity, I looked my goodreads shelves to see what the difference was between the number of books I'd read in 2011 to those in 2010.

It shocked the hell out of me.

I mean, I knew the severity of my mental illness caused me to have a lack of interest in all the things I usually love/d doing, especially reading, but I just hadn't realised the full extent of it.

So, in 2011, I read 155 books and, in 2010, I read 450.

Yeah. That's quite a slump I had - and still have - going.

What about others? Have you found yourself reading more or less in the last couple of years and why?

random awesomeness

2012-01-04T08:33:00.000+08:00

Why not start 2012 as I mean to go on - like I've really changed that much - with some book-related snark.

You're welcome.

thank you: the wrap-up to end all end-of-year bandwagon wrap-ups

2011-12-31T09:01:00.001+08:00

I was going to write something profoundly witty to mark the occasion of the last day of 2011. You know, just my usual brand of awesome.

However, when reflecting about the past year, there is only one thing which has dominated my life as well as those of the people around me and that has been, and still is, my mental illness.

Without a doubt this has been one of the toughest years I've ever had.

God, geezus, has it ever been.

When I wrote the other day about my main achievement having been surviving 2011, it was no exaggeration.

There were so many times when I didn't think I would make it, when the thoughts about ending the overwhelming and suffocating pain of depression consumed me, when all I could think about was escape.

I recently read one of those tumblr quotes/notes which said 'Depression takes away the one thing you thought could never be taken away - yourself'.

On top of everything else - the depression, the anxiety disorder, the obsessive compulsive disorder, the diagnosis of bipolar and the bad behaviours associated with these illnesses such as my self-medication with booze and my self-harming - one of the biggest things I've had to struggle to deal with is my sense of loss of self.

That I'm not the person who I thought I was.

I know I am, if now somewhat changed, but feeling I am is something quite different and is a battle I continue to fight daily.

Which leads me to one of the most significant things I've experienced this year - the love, friendship and unconditional support of my family and my online friends.

If not for them, I couldn't have got through 2011.

If not for your wishes, hope and belief in me, I don't believe I would still be here.

It's really as simple as that.

There are so many who've helped me get through this year; whether it be by leaving a comment, by tweeting me, by sending me an email, by mailing me a card or a present.

While I can't name you all - which I'm totally blaming on my new memory-killing meds - there are a number of people who immediately spring to mind as they'll never know how many times their reaching out to me happened when I was at my lowest.

The times when I was corresponding with them while my entire body was shaking, barely seeing the keyboard because of my uncontrollable sobbing, and with only the words I was typing to them stopping me from focussing on knives and blood.

To Tam, Chris, Sean, Juni, Emilie, Tiffany, Tish, Orannia, Tracy, Jen, Kaetrin and Eyre as well as to those who've come more recently into my life like Stephani, Amara and Nic - I thank you.

There are no other words profound enough to express how deeply I appreciate you all and am so very grateful for having you - and all the rest of my minions <3 - in my life.

The life you've helped me fight for.

And now I'm all snotty and sappy.

Bitches.

end-of-year bandwagon wrap-ups #6

2011-12-28T05:29:00.000+08:00

As a lot of you know, I haven't been reading a whole heap this year - one of the fall-outs of not being in the greatest of mental health.

Stupid brain.

Despite this, I did get in a couple of reads in 2011. Some of which were even worthy of my time. :P

One of these was the subject of much pimpage; not only to me, but to what I'm sure was at least half of the m/m community.

Oh, yeah. She was that bad.

*ponders* Maybe she has become a super top seekrit marketing agent for m/m authors??

Naw. I'm sure she would have blabbed about that already. ;P

Where was I??

Right.

The subject of the pimpage was Knight Errant by K. D. Sarge. The book pimp... seriously, you actually need me to tell you? Surely, you remember getting that email from her? And I thought my mind was a sieve. It was Chris...

I could actually see the virtual light bulb switch on then.

Heh.

She's just lucky that Knight Errant lived up to her ravings or there would have been much blood shed... and not all of it by me.

Did anyone sucker you in this year? If so, what were the best and worst - naturally - of the books pimped to you in 2011?

merry krismas!

2011-12-25T05:28:00.000+08:00

Dear Minions and Random Others,

The Doctor and I would like to wish you all a safe, healthy and happy Krismas.

Be excellent to each other.

Yours in love and friendship,

Me xxx

PS - Fingers crossed that I'm getting K-9 for xmas. x

end-of-year bandwagon wrap-ups #5

2011-12-22T08:07:00.001+08:00

Swag.

The idea of getting goodies from your fave authors brings out the squee in the majority of readers.

Anyone who says otherwise is lying. Just sayin'.

However, after that initial burst of giddiness, a number of us realise we are stuck with a whole heap of useless shit which will end up going to swag heaven.

Anyone who says otherwise is lying. Just sayin'.

There also appears to be an echo in here.

Heh.

So what is it that ends up making it to the final round of 'stuff I'll make room for in my luggage'??

For me it's two things... pens and post-its.

Pens because you can never have enough of those bloody things, especially when you have a habit of breaking them. *mutterfuckersmutter*

My go-to swag pen is a T. C. Blue one. For some reason it always comes to my hand whenever I reach in the drawer for a pen.

*whispers* I think it might be possessed.

Post-its because I have an obsession. It is true. I have a deep abiding love for which there is no cure. I would marry post-its if I could. Kid you not.

The extent of my post-it lust?? Well, after everyone had left the GRL goodbye breakfast, I may have gone around all the tables taking the post-it pads given out by Resplendence Publishing.

Or it could have been another freckle-faced Aussie...

*cough*

Are you a fan of swag? If so, what was your fave goodie in 2011?

end-of-year bandwagon wrap-ups #4

2011-12-20T07:47:00.002+08:00

Yeah, I'm bouncing around all over the place with this end-of-year wrap-up crap, but welcome to my brain... which appears to be even more random than usual.

Who knew that was possible.

It's mind boggling.

Literally.

But onward to the wrap-up!

Let's go beyond the bookity faves and look at what other stuff we've all found in 2011.

Oh, and it has to be in the form of a list because it is unnatural to do otherwise.

Also, it has to be an even number.

Which has nothing to do with my OCD.

*cough*

So, here we go!

The 2011 'We Think They're Just Tops' 10

1. Bookity (Look, we have to. I am a reader's blog. Apparently.). Mine: As always, there can be only one. My god... *hand to heart* Sir Terry Pratchett.

2. Online thing. Mine: Tumblr!

3. TV/Film. Mine: The Killing (freaking awesome crime series from Denmark), Manuel and Lalo from Botineras and The Kiss! Blaine. <3

4. Music. Mine: Adele. My girlfriend. *dreamy sigh*

5. Event (Personal). Mine: My new tattoos and my trip to the US and catching up with old and new mates. :)

6. Event (World). Mine: NYC's saying yes to gay marriage, The Royal Wedding (being a Republican so doesn't count at such times) and Australian Labor's vote to change it's platform on marriage equality (one can but hope).

7. Discovery. Mine: Becoming aware and increasing my understanding about the trans* and genderfluid communities, Mindfullness and Andrej Pejic... if you hadn't already guessed. ;P

8. Controversy. Mine: Well, mine. Obviously.

9. Word. Mine: Douchecopter.

10. Achievement. Mine: Surviving the year with the help of my family and a lot of friends whom I love with all my heart and are so very grateful for.

Your turn.

Share your 2011 faves in the comments so we can pick on 'em and stuff. ;)

random awesomeness

2011-12-17T05:53:00.000+08:00

Interrupting my end-of-year bandwagon wrap-ups for this random piece of awesomeness:

So worth it.

And so very true.

end-of-year bandwagon wrap-ups #3

2011-12-14T06:27:00.000+08:00

Now that we've done the nicey-nice bookity wrap-up thing, let's go mean.

A total shocker, I know.

So what did you find yourself hating in 2011? *Besides me, that is.*

Maybe it was a theme or a trope or a particular pairing which was so thrashed to death that you just got bloody sick of reading it over and over and over and over?

Remember 2009 being the Year of the Chick Stalker in m/m?? God, what a nightmare that fucking was. Ka-pooey.

C'mon. Fess up.

I'll bet you'll never guess what mine was.

end-of-year bandwagon wrap-ups #2

2011-12-12T05:23:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I know it's been a while between posts.

I've been on a retreat of sorts and was avoiding you all.

Get used to it.

Anyways, continuing with my version of the end-of-year wrap-up thingy I've got going, let's talk about your reading tastes for the year.

So what - if any - sub/genre did you find yourself reading more of in 2011? What theme, pairing, whatever, did you get a particular kick out of? Etc, blah, etc.

Maybe your reading habits didn't change a lot at all and you're in the rut to end all ruts?

Or perhaps you're like me and have been in a bookity 'meh' for most of the year?

Tell nosy Kris all.

end-of-year bandwagon wrap-ups #1

2011-12-01T06:49:00.002+08:00

Tis the season for end-of-year wrap-ups,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Yeah, I'm lazy and can't think shit up,
Fa la la la la, la, la la la.

Also, I may have used this tune before. See lazy comment above. Heh.

Earlier this year, I did a series about ratings; what people thought about them, do they actually mean anything at sites like goodreads, blah, blah.

In one of those posts, I was particularly interested in who your 'go to' reviewer/rater was when you were tossing up whether to buy a book, and I talked about my ~~old~~ mainstays, Jenre and Kassa.

I invited you to share your favourite reviewers, raters and sites and, through your recommendations, discovered Cole, Alex at Between the Covers and Cryselle's Bookshelf.

I was pleased to find their reviews gave me enough information about the pros and cons of a book to be able to decide which stories would appeal the most to my readerly tastes. I don't know about you, but I tend to think avoiding wasting my money on shite is always a good thing. :)

Anyways, given this is all about the end-of-year wrap-up thing and that I might be an incredibly ~~nosy~~ curious person, I wondered which reviewer/rater you discovered in 2011 who gels with your readiosyncrasies?

Do share with the other boys and girls.

owning words again

2011-11-27T08:11:00.001+08:00

Earlier in the year, I wrote a post about owning words. I've since come to terms with the fact I'm in no way as confident as I was then.

As some of you already know, this year has been particularly tough for me. I feel like I've waged - and still wage - a constant battle with my depression. I've talked about about this mostly at my tumblr which has been a journal of sorts. This time, however, I really feel the need to try and get this message out to as many people as possible, hence my posting here at my blog.

This message is again one about words. Not only those seemingly offhand ones like 'that's so gay' which can cause so much harm, but those deliberate ones which are used to belittle and to cut deeply to the bone.

You see, ever since I was a teenager, people have described me as 'a bitch' or 'moody' or most often 'a moody bitch'. This was said behind my back, within my hearing and even to my face. Looking back, it seemed this generally became accepted as 'just the way Kris was'.

I accepted it too. After all, if you've been told something enough times you tend to believe it and, let's face it, this particular shoe does tend to fit me pretty well so...

It does, however, make me wonder what would have happened if my being 'a moody bitch' wasn't so entrenched, wasn't the only way I was viewed by others, and wasn't the only way I judged myself.

Would people have taken more notice? Would anyone have realised the increasingly violent mood swings I was having were actually a sign of something else?

Would any of us, including myself, have thought that maybe I was bipolar?

Well, I am bipolar. I was diagnosed about two months ago.

As the weeks have passed, I've come to realise I am so unbelievable angry at all those who called me 'a moody bitch' over the years. Most of all, though, I'm hurt.

I have this hurt so deep down in the pit of my stomach because it was those critical words - for that's what they were - which reinforced my own perception that I was somehow 'wrong'. Something I'm still struggling to deal with today.

So, to all those who called me 'a moody bitch', well, fuck you.

FUCK.

YOU.

My message to those of you who, like me, have been the victims of words, but will never use them as weapons against others, is to get it out.

Get out all that anger and hurt those words have done to you. Do it in the comment section here. Just don't let it fester because in the end those words will cause you even more harm.

Take it from someone who knows.

'i see myself': embrace the rainbow

2011-11-20T09:00:00.000+08:00

In the past few days, we have been privileged to witness an increasing awareness and understanding within the m/m romance community about the complex issues of gender/s and sexuality/ies.

This has been a significant and positive step forward in healing a rift caused primarily by ignorance and bringing hope where there was once anger, turmoil and devastation.

This is by no means an end, however.

For if there is one thing we have all learnt is that a rainbow cannot easily be grasped or defined.

Rainbows are constantly changing. Rainbows are not fixed. Even when an artist tries to portray them in a photograph or piece of work it is only one moment in time they are capturing, not the full journey of a rainbow.

It is this fluidity we need to embrace and encourage others to do so as well.

To this end, we are sending out a challenge.

A challenge to help us increase awareness, acceptance and support for the trans*, intersex, intergender and questioning people in the m/m romance community and broader community by adding this to your site:

Kindle Vixen for 'embrace the rainbow'.

We believe this will stand hard as a sign post symbolising hope as well as a safe space for GLBTQQ people to freely be themselves. Whoever 'they' might be at that particular moment and whoever 'they' might be in different moments in the future.

We do this on the day which marks the 13^th International Transgender Day of Remembrance; a day for remembering those trans* who have been the victims of hate crimes.

We also do this in association with the Safe Reading Zone campaign; a promise to those GLBTQQ people among us that we will support them.

So, will you accept our challenge?

Perhaps this excerpt from an interview in September 2011 between genderfluid Andrej Pejic and ABC’s Nightline Juju Chang will help you make a decision:

Chang: When you see yourself in the mirror, do you think of yourself more as a man or as a woman?
Pejic: I like to keep my options open.
Chang: What does that mean?
Pejic: I see myself.

‘I see myself.’

That, friends, says it all.

Please help us spread this message.

With hope and love, Aleksandr Voinov, Amara Devonte and Kris for 'embrace the rainbow'.

the good, the bad and the... beautiful

2011-11-14T10:58:00.001+08:00

It’s only when you look at it all that you understand why nearly every variation of a queer symbol has a rainbow on it—a rainbow is a spectrum of light that's only visible when you look up to see the sun through the rain, and it’s bright, and beautiful, and (to borrow a story from my highly biblical upbringing) it’s a miracle.

Rowan McBride, Pondering Rainbows, 17/2/2010.

Have you ever been journeying somewhere and suddenly, sometimes out of nowhere, springs this amazing rainbow?

Something I've done since I was a child has been to watch a rainbow until I could no longer see it. I love the way the light of a rainbow always seems to play. The way the colours and the shapes of a rainbow seem to change from where ever and when ever you look at them.

Rainbows are such a miracle, don't you think?

I certainly do. However, it wasn't until I read the above quote and the rest of the article that I realised how much of a miracle they really are, but, more significantly, how hard they are to grasp or define.

Rainbows are constantly changing. Rainbows aren't fixed. Even when an artist tries to portray them in a photograph or something similar it is only one moment in time they are capturing, not the full journey of a rainbow.

It was this particular imagery which really hit home with me, because I realised how very little I know about intergender and intersexuality and how much I wanted to talk about this issue on my blog.

You see, and as I said in my previous post, one of my biggest regrets about the current situation in the m/m romance community was the part I played in 'perpetuating an over-simplistic or binary view of gender/s and sexuality/ies'.

I have to admit I didn't always think like this.

Picture me sitting in front of my computer with my 'The Trevor Project' shirt on, reading a few comments people had sent me links to, and getting more and more upset because 'HOW VERY DARE THEY?! I'M NOT TRANSPHOBIC!'

Yeah, talk about being a self-righteous douchecopter.

Maybe I wasn't necessarily transphobic, but, geezus kerrist, I was as ignorant as fuck.

It wasn't until I saw a Twitter mate expressing hir frustration at the 'binary mind-set' of those participating in the, erm, discussions that I began to sit up and think to myself 'Kris, there is so much more to this than you realise and maybe you need to actually find out about it before opening your big, fat mouth... again...'.

So I started asking questions.

Lots and lots of questions... and those of you who were on the cemetery tour with me in NOLA know first hand how nosy I can be... oh, yeah.

I was - and am still - extraordinarily lucky to have found two people, who have very generously shared their thoughts and experiences with me about being gender fluid *crossing my fingers that a certain someone won't kick my arse too badly for using that label* and answering my, no doubt potentially offensive, queries.

It is because of their willingness to share their stories that my so-called understanding about what transgender meant has been unbelievably challenged over the past week.

I came to realise, despite my vehement disavowal of choice being anything to do with whether you were gay or lesbian or transsexual or transgender, I was continuing to think in narrow terms whenever transsexual or transgender identities were discussed. I still thought within the boundaries of a binary system where people had to choose their gender or sexuality. It was one or the other. Black or white.

However, it is not that simple, but then again, as one person pointed out to me, why does it have to be? Why can't gender and sexuality be more fluid?

Why indeed.

It made me think. I hope it encourages others to think too.

For this binary mind-set is one which needs to be challenged. No, more than that. It MUST be challenged.

Not only in the broader community, but in spaces like the m/m romance community where people should feel safe to freely be themselves.

Whoever 'they' might be at that particular moment and whoever 'they' might be in different moments in the future.

well... what to do then?

2011-11-10T07:39:00.000+08:00

Yes, indeed.

I'm going to make the assumption that most of you who read my blog are also aware, to varying degrees, of what has happened in the last few days subsequent to my last post. If not, and you are interested, I suggest you go back and read some of the links provided in the comments because, quite frankly, I can't be arsed rehashing what has happened.

I did debate whether or not to write a follow-up post; however, I have no desire to ignore the current situation and I think there will be more benefit to an open, honest discussion as opposed to, well, vitriolic bullshit.

Having said that, I also struggled with how best to approach this post. Do I attempt to prepare something thought-provoking? No, I won't. I think others far more eloquent than I have already done this. Do I provide my usual sarcastic and facetious take on things? No, I won't. I think to do so would be glib and dismissive.

Do I try to address the comments and accusations people have made about me? No, I won't. I think it would just further inflame the situation and degenerate into further nastiness... let's face it, probably by me. Do I justify my previous post? No, I won't. As I think that would just be buying into the reactionary culture of victimisation.

Well. What to do then?

It was my answer to the question above, of trying to justify myself, which made me realise what I had to do above all else. This was, whether I liked it or not, to take responsibility for my actions.

You see, it was me and only me, who wrote the post which was the catalyst for the controversy currently dominating the m/m romance community.

Do I regret publishing it?

No... and yes.

No, because I still firmly believe that raising and questioning the appropriation of a GLBTQ identity as well as incidents of offline bullying, which was at the heart of my post, was - for wont of a better term - the 'right' thing to do.

But also yes. Yes, because there have been several real victims of this incredibly intense and unfortunately sometimes aggressive and confrontational situation, and that is something I do regret.

In particular, there are two communities that I, inadvertently or not, have offended or caused turmoil in. One being the GLBTQ communities for ignorantly perpetuating an over-simplistic or binary view of gender/s and sexuality/ies (as a Twitter mate very generously explained, although they may be wincing right now at my description); and, the second being the m/m community itself.

In relation to the latter, although there have been times when I've been completely disillusioned, I've also been interested and encouraged by how many people within the m/m community have engaged in this debate and some of the thought-provoking comments made.

Unlike others, I don't think such contention necessarily results in division. Rather, I believe open and constructive conversations can lead to increased understanding and much stronger connections... and who knew I could be a half-glass full person?

So. Maybe I did know what to do with this post, after all.

Finally, I want to reiterate that I alone am responsible for my actions.

If you wish to place the blame on someone then it's obvious...

Clearly, you should blame my parents.

For not only instilling in me a commitment to always stand up for what I believe in, but the knowledge, as I've said before and will likely say again, that you don't shit where you eat.

what's a pen name got to do with it? another postscript cos now i'm seriously pissed

2011-11-03T07:39:00.000+08:00

Earlier in the year I wrote this post after I had found out that a couple of extremely popular m/m romance and erotica authors writing as gay men were actually women.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I couldn't give a flying fuck if the books I like are written by gay or straight, boys or girls, genderqueer, trans, etc because quality is all that matters to me.

However, if an author has been deliberately misleading, if not down right dishonest, about their gender and sexuality that's when I call bullshit.

Today, I'm calling one particular author out. Oh, yeah. I. Am. Pissed.

Oh, don't worry about me landing in the shit. I'm sticking with my policy of not naming names.

I'm just going to play them at their own make-believe game and talk about them as an hypothetical example.

I can't possible get blamed if you all guess who the author in question is then, right?

*smiles sweetly*

So...

What if an author creates an elaborate bio and life around their pseud/persona?

What if an author hires a gay model/actor to 'play' them online? Posting photos of 'their' so-called life?

What if an author gets this gay model/actor to go to a book signing event as 'their' persona?

What if an author even goes to the extent of writing articles for well-known GLBTQ and review sites about 'their' life as a gay man, 'their' coming out story, etc?

What if one of the people an author works with finds out the truth and calls 'them' on it?

What if an author justifies 'their' actions by saying it was marketing strategy in order for 'them' to appear more 'legitimate' to readers?

What if the person who works with an author cuts ties completely because of their outrage at this betrayal to and blatant exploitation of the GLBTQ communities?

What if the person never discusses what happened and despite the struggle it causes within because of their own family situation?

What if the person goes on to be successful in their own right?

What if an author appears to react to some of the suspicions now surrounding 'them' by entering into a working and life partnership with another author?

What if rumour mill begins to churn madly about the possibility that an author's new partner is actually 'them' writing under another pseud?

What if an author gets jealous of the popularity of the person who used work with 'them'?

What if an author accuses the person of using 'them' as a launch pad and tells the person they should be more grateful?

What if an author goes so far as to say the person is only interested in GLBTQ issues in order to look like an ally and thus make more money?

And, what if the person, who has a gay family member, is flabbergasted and hurt by this accusation?

Yeah.

It makes you think, doesn't it.

It makes you think about how hard you would punch this fucking bitch author in the face and make her life a living hell.

Or maybe that's just me.

the kris 'n' good books GRL wrap up

2011-10-31T08:11:00.001+08:00

My GRL wrap up:

Well, I was! I keep telling everyone that I'm the bitch of the m/m community.

Fine then!

For so-called 'real' reports about the New Orleans convention, how about getting off your lazy arses and going to read about it at:

Janna's, who in her usual sweet and sneaky way somehow managed to con a whole bunch of us into doing guest posts for her *coughI'mprettysurewewerealldrunkatthetimecough*;

Kassa's, who is far too pretty for her own good which meant I had to protect her virtue from the seductive wiles of a certain author;

Leontine's, who is my best new drinking buddy in the entire world :) ;

Chris' (1 & 2), who I can't work out how she does all the competitions, reading, reviewettes, linkities, stealing swag for Jase, flirting with authors and strippers, and still want to walk everywhere! I think her backpack is really a Tardis; and,

finally, my Tam's and Tracy's, both of whom I love dearly... in a totally-non-sappy-never-crying-my-eyes-out way.

*sniffles*

Shit.

I think I have a branch in my eye or something.

I miss you, bitches.

But no way in hell am I going to AlberwhereverthehellintheUSkerkie next year just to see you.

The end.

well, bugger...

2011-10-20T08:30:00.015+08:00

Okay, okay. So I may have lied about the whole closing down the blog for ever and ever thing.

But, seriously, how could you blame me for dropping back in?

I mean, after going to GayRomLit and witnessing how bloody nice everyone was/is??

Well, it's totally obvious you all need a whole lot of mean in the m/m community and that, clearly, would be me ~~no matter what everyone kept saying about Kassa~~.

Or were you just pretending to be nice, hmmmm??

Of course, there was some of that fakey smiley-ness going on. Let's face it, it tends to happen whenever a bunch of people get together, particularly when most of them haven't met in real life.

I can hardly complain, though, since I do this all the time.

There was also the usual bitching and backstabbing which seems to occur spontaneously at any kind of socialy-type event.

Again, not really complaining. It does make for delicious gossip after all. :P

*whispersemailmeyouwillnotbelievesomeoftheshitIheardwhispers*

However, I will say this...

Dearest M/M Authors,

If you're going to bitch about reviewers being a waste of space and readers being patsies who just read whatever crap you churn out cos you're all famearse and shit, I'd strongly suggest you check to see if there is anyone who might be able to overhear you.

You see, some of those so-called clueless reviewers and readers went to GayRomLit too.

Yeah.

Surprisingly - and this might come as a complete shocker to a couple of you - we're also the ones 'stupid' enough to buy the crud you write.

Double yeah.*

*Side note: To some, this would be more commonly known as shitting where you eat.

Oh, and btw...

Fuck you, you arrogant twats.

Hugs and kisses,

Kris of Kris 'n' Good Books.

PS - I have returned.

PSS - You should probably be scared.

PSSS - Me xxx

so...

2011-08-22T07:51:00.000+08:00

I was going to write a post along the lines of 'I'd like to thank the Academy', blah, blah, but, well, you already know I love you all and stuff...

... hidden though it is behind the layers of my awesome and deep within this dark pit of doom, sarcasm and wit.

Also, it seemed like way too much like hard work.

So, anyways...

kris 'n' good books announcement

2011-08-16T09:26:00.001+08:00

So, the exciting announcement I hinted at the other day?? Well, it's happened!

The fabulous moderators at the M/M Romance group at goodreads have agreed to give my 'choose you own m/m story' game a home. How cool is that. *GRIN*

Obviously they recognise how awesome ~~I am~~ it is and, by hosting it, have provided me with a larger platform from which to spread my own brand of evul. My plot to take over the world is reaching fruition! MWAHAHAHAHA!

*cough*

Anyhoody, the big reveal was made as part of the anniversary celebrations of the group and can be found here.

Not only that, but the choices are up to make Rachel Haimowitz's life a living hell for the next month:

click me

Woo hoo!

Oh, and that crazyhead who is actually willing to let me cause havoc and chaos on her blog??

That would be the fabutantistic ~~cranky~~smartypants Kassa!

In all seriousness, I admire Kassa a hell of a lot. I reckon she is one of the most honest, thorough, thoughtful and highly articulate reviewers and bloggers out there and I'm pretty rapt that she's taking me on... in a non-sexual way...

And all it cost me was a bribe of caramel Tim Tams!

I know!

Some people are so easy. <3

kris 'n' good books news update

2011-08-14T07:17:00.000+08:00

Well, almost.

So, you know how I planned to go out with a bang?? Life intervenedeth.

Not only my usual mental and physical health stuff, but family crap... oh, how I adore thee.

Not.

Anyhoody, very, VERY soon, there will be an exciting announcement at one of those places where so many of we folk of the m/m community like to hang out.

Oh, yes, there will! *bouncing*

Plus, I'll reveal which crazyhead has generously offered to host my rants in a segementy/columny thing all of my own.

I know! *chair twirling*

This means I get to do all those 'going out with a bang' posts I had planned here for her site and she'll get the blame!

*bouncing* *chair twirling*

...

Owie.

kris' ramblings: beware the slippery slope*

2011-07-30T10:30:00.000+08:00

*Or stuff-that-I've-been-thinking-about-which-needs-to-come-out-of-my-head-and-will-probably-make-no-sense-to-anyone-else-but-me-and-is-also-likely-to-cause-offense-to-people-oh-well-I'm-closing-my-blog-so-fuck-it

One of the main issues which gets raised in the m/m romance community from time to time - and inevitably causes a wankfest whenever it does - is the fact there are a heck of a lot of heterosexual women writing this fiction about homosexuals.

The whys of this as well as the reasons for the genre appealing to straight chicks has been flogged to death and, while I do think this is worth the occasional revisit, especially for those new to the genre, it is not what I want to talk about in this post.

Nor do I really want to explore the possibility and/or probability that a number of these so-called heterosexual women may not fit as nice and easily into these sexual and gender identities as some may think or, perhaps more pointedly, would like to think. That is another topic in itself.

Instead, I'd like to try to put words to something that has always intrigued me, which is the notion that there is - or might be - a legitimate way to writing m/m romance.

Now I'm not thinking about techniques, style, blah, blah. Rather, I'm talking about the belief some people have that the m/m romance written by gay male authors is more authentic than those stories by heterosexual women.

Interesting, yes?

I have to admit I find it fascinating there are readers who prefer the stories by men because they believe these give them a 'real' experience.

I think part of my interest in this stems from my work in the history and heritage field where the concepts of legitimacy and authenticity in relation to original sources and 'the evidence' are matters I engage with on a daily basis.

It has also given me an understanding that these issues are not as straight forward as they seem. Indeed, they can be ambiguous at the best of times and absolutely fraught with ginormous stake-filled pits of agonising doom at their worst.

Besides the whole 'who can/should write who's story', which has been discussed frequently in historical and similar discourses and is an argument that scares me shitless so no going there or else, implying there is a right and wrong way to properly writing - and reading maybe?? - m/m romance is, I think, a slippery slope.

What do I mean by that exactly? I guess what I'm trying to say is to be wary of assumptions when it comes to such positions/stances because they are not always as simple as you might think.

Still not sure what I'm getting at?? Well, let me throw a couple of questions at you...

In this time of internet anonymity, can a reader really assume a male persona means the author is definitely a gay man who will offer them a more genuine story?

If a woman has had sex with a man and has even pegged him, does that mean she honestly understands what it's like to have gay sex?

Why can't a female author use her own experiences of discrimination to help her empathise and portray homophobia and bigotry?

Beginning to see what I mean? Doesn't seem so black and white, does it.

Then there is that bottom line for a lot of readers, myself included, which is who gives a fuck who writes it as long as it's convincing and enjoyable!

Of course, we, in turn, can be seen to be dismissive and marginalising GLBTQ authors and readers in what is essentially a genre about them and their communities.

Yeah.

And people think this lovey-dovey stuff is all about unicorns spewing rainbows and butterflies farting.

Geezus.

What a minefield m/m romance can be.

Also, I wish I wasn't Libran cos this post made my head hurt.

The end.

kris 'n' good books breaking news

2011-07-25T09:51:00.000+08:00

Well, not really... for those of you who read my tumblr, that is.

So, what the hell is going on??

I’ll be closing down this here blog of mine. :)

Nope, nothing has happened to upset me. Pinky swears. And, naw, I’ve still got plenty of ideas for posts. Drafts and notes all over the place. LOL.

It’s just that I’ve come to the realisation I don’t want to do it anymore.

It’s actually something I’ve been thinking about for a while now and I finally decided to just do it.

Although my doc would probably say I shouldn't be making such decisions in my current state of depression, etc, a large part of me is quite relieved as there’s been this niggle at the back of my mind for bloody ages telling me to make a choice once and for all and go with it. So I have. :)

I think I've found this blog thing quite limiting in terms of it having to be about reading and books all the time... and despite my tendency to get side-tracked by other topics.

I’ve come to prefer my tumblr blog because, from the outset, I set it up so I could talk about the stuff I like - and hate - , journal and just post pics if that’s all I want to do. It's more general and I like that. It allows me to talk about books and a whole heap of other things. My toy poodle flu really appreciates that. :)

So, I’ll still be around... especially on tumblr and on twitter.

Some of the series I’ve been doing, such as my picking on the Baby Brother, like I would ever stop doing that :P, will continue to feature on tumblr. However, a few others will be moving to different sites which have agreed to host them. How cool is that! *GRIN*

Anyways, I’ve got a few bits and bobs I want to post about before I finish up here, including causing some havoc and destruction. I’m all about going out with a bang. And, no, that’s not a euphemism. Durty heads.

Also, regardless of whether the Kris ‘n’ Good Books blog is live or not, all of you who I’ve come to call mates better not even think of trying to disappear on me.

Cos no one can escape the awesome that is Kris.

Obviously.

guess who's who: the winner

2011-07-23T07:59:00.000+08:00

So, you all completely sucked at guessing our names for our new reviewing reviews blog.

I thought it was pretty fucking obvious myself, but clearly no one can be as awesome as I.

Take heart, though!

None of you did as horribly bad as our Sweet Bea, who, despite having two attempts under a couple of her own gazillion personas, still managed to score a big fat zero, zilch, nadda.

Yep, total embarrassment.

Anyhoo...

Who the hell was actually who among the five online friends with the most fantabulous pseuds in the entire m/m romance universe?!

1. Jason = c. Asswipe Spacklemouth

2. Juni = a. Cuntpotato Silverbritches

3.Chris = e. SmegmaLips McCuntihee

4. Tam = b. Guichey Jockhufferston

5. Me (aka Kris) = d. Ima Pretentiousgit

See. Obvious.

And the winner with an amazing 3 out of 5 correctomondo??

ORANNIA! YAY!

Oh, and to all of you who couldn't be bothered getting off your fucking arses to take a few seconds out of your boring little lives to do the eeny meeny miney mo thing?

Well, suck shit.

Cos I had to get a $25 voucher.

So there.

maybe it's me, but...

2011-07-20T04:29:00.000+08:00

Perhaps I totally imagined offering a $20 ARe voucher for doing pretty much sweet fuck all?

Well??

Gotta say that I never thought I'd see the day when readers couldn't be bothered entering what is the stupidest competition ever for the chance of getting free books.

I think this must be one of the first signs of the apocalypse.

guess who's who: the 'we are so fucking funny' edition

2011-07-18T00:30:00.019+08:00

Once upon a time, there were five online friends who, quite out of the blue, decided to spend part of their day making fun of everyone including each other.

For some obscure reason, the virtual chat took a 180 to talk about the douche remarks ~~frequently~~ occasionally made by people at goodreads.

I know. The online friends found this turn in the convo very odd too.

Anyhoo, the most awesomest of the five suddenly came up with a brilliant idea: "Let's start a blog which reviews reviews!"

A hallelujah chorus was heard by all of the five and there was general consensus there was fun to be had in making people hate their guts.

When the token slave boy among them suggested they acquire pseuds for their worthy endeavour, completely low key and non-attention-seeking names were chosen.

However, prior to the ginmormous launch of their highly ~~inflammatory~~ anticipated site "The Shizzle: All you need to know about the review of jizzle books for rizzle!", the five also agreed a competition should be held in order to test the anonymity of their new personas.

Yeah. They are clearly all about altruism.

How to play?

1. Match the pseuds to the online friends.
2. You get one chance and one chance only. No changes can be made once you hit that submit/send button and you certainly can't delete it and try again. I see all.
3. No hinting whatsoever in the comments or anywhere else. If you do, I will get seriously pissed and automatically delete your arse. You've been warned.
4. Guesses must be received by 12noon Friday 22nd July (Perth, West
Oz time).
5. None of the five friends can play... obviously.

What you get:

S/he who gets the most matches correct wins a $20 ARe voucher! Woo and hoo. :) Oh, and if there is more than one person who gets the most right, I'll do the eeny meeny miney mo thing.

So without further ado... the guess who's who: 'we are so fucking funny' edition!

The five online friends:

1. Jason
2. Juni
3. Chris
4. Tam
5. Me (aka Kris)

The most amazing pseuds in the entire m/m romance universe:

a. Cuntpotato Silverbritches
b. Guichey Jockhufferston
c. Asswipe Spacklemouth
d. Ima Pretentiousgit
e. SmegmaLips McCuntihee

And now it's over to you! *GRIN*

I'll bet you'll never guess in a gazillion years which fake name is mine. ;P

your m/m story by angelia sparrow

2011-07-15T08:00:00.005+08:00

Remember these??

An anger management retreat at a monastery; one of them is petrified that ginger-haired people are going to take over the world; an alien who has run away to Earth to become a cheerleader; a ghost gerbil that keeps on moving things; a sex education class for virgins of all types; AND, a red velvet ~~cupcake~~ corset.

Yeah. You did me proud, my Vegemite muffins.

And so has Angelia Sparrow!

I always knew there was truth to that 'healing power' thing. ;P

Thanks Angelia!

encounters with my baby brother: 15 part 3

2011-07-12T00:15:00.007+08:00

Me: *hands over parcel* These are for you... from my friend...

The Baby Brother: *pulling out beads* What the fuck! This has cocks all over it!

Me: *snickering*

The BB: *good-naturedly putting it around his neck* It's a good thing I'm comfortable with my sexuality.

Me: *gigglesnorting*

The BB: *looking more closely at necklace* Kris, why do these cocks have mini-condoms on them?

Me: *catching breath* Cos they have favours in them. Like candy. You know, lollies.

The BB: *tentatively squeezes* THESE COCKS FUCKING JIZZ!

Me: *lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol*

The BB: *glares* Shuddup. *hurriedly takes off necklace*

Me: *lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol*

The BB: And don't even think I'll be sucking these in front of you.

Me: *gasping* I think I just peed my pants a little.

encounters with my baby brother: 15 part 2

2011-07-10T09:48:00.000+08:00

Me: My friend says she says she couldn't send you the black cock necklace you wanted.

The Baby Brother: O.o

Me: Yeah. She said the one she found was too big and she didn't think you could handle it. :P

The BB: *indignantly* I could so fucking handling it!

Me: *jaw drop*

The BB: Erm, wait...

Me: *snickering*

The BB: *muttering* What the fuck are you doing to me...

Me: *dies laffing*

encounters with my baby brother: 15 part 1

2011-07-08T08:51:00.000+08:00

Me: My friend says she's going to send you a cock necklace.

The Baby Brother: Tell her she'd better make it black cos I like them that way.

*a few seconds later*

The BB: Your friends are weird.

Me: You should have said that first.

random awesomeness

2011-07-06T08:30:00.000+08:00

True that. ;P

maybe it's me, but...

2011-07-04T00:15:00.007+08:00

As I was busily lurking my way through Reading Bloglandia the other day, it suddenly hit me...

I have absolutely no fucking idea what 'category romance' actually means.

All this time, I've been nodding and typing 'yes' whilst being completely and utterly clueless.

Thinking back, not even the context in which some have used the phrase 'category romance' has been much of a help to me.

They've given me an inkling, yes, but an understanding?? Erm, nope.

I'm pretty sure this will definitely a 'me' thing.

Still, I'm curious about what others think it means, so do tell. :)

hey

2011-06-29T06:04:00.000+08:00

break time

2011-06-22T07:29:00.000+08:00

My head is messing with me again so I need a break. Not sure for how long because, in all honesty, my joy in this reader blog thing has been waning for a while now so I need to think about that. Regardless, I'll probably be around on Twitter and I'll definitely be at Tumblr because pretty things make me smile. Smiling is good for me at the moment. Even the quiet ones you make with your heart.

In the meantime...

maybe it's me, but... (vaguely nsfwish)

2011-06-21T00:15:00.001+08:00

Gratuitous hand-in-undie shot.

I'm pretty sure dick adjustment is the new fisting in m/m.

Thoughts?

help!

2011-06-19T08:08:00.001+08:00

Can someone please tell me how the fuck I'm meant to resist that little cutehead's face??

*shakes fist* Evul book cover artist!

Shit.

*sigh*

maybe it's me, but...

2011-06-17T00:15:00.006+08:00

I like Twitter, Tumblr, goodreads, etc so much better now I've turned off all the notifications.

I call it Antisocial Bitch Networking.

It works for me.

Surprisingly.

things that make you go O_o

2011-06-15T05:26:00.001+08:00

It seems to be that time of year again for me.

You know the one I'm talking about.

That skipping-the-sex-scenes season.

Yeah. The mood swing. I haz it.

Too bad the flipping to the story thing makes you realise that, well, there ain't much of it anyways.

Meh.

random awesomeness

2011-06-12T06:25:00.000+08:00

Fucking oath, I do.

@krisnotes #1

2011-06-10T00:15:00.019+08:00

A hint and a perve.

Welcome to @krisnotes #1.

"Apparently an epic battle between good & evil, but it's really all about who you smell with & *hopefully* gay sex. The end. Verily."

We'd thank you for subscribing to this awesomesauce service, but really who wouldn't.

a kris 'n' good books new service

2011-06-08T06:52:00.001+08:00

Don't want to waste precious #twittertime by reading an actual book?

Too scared to leave your precious few followers to read?

Then look no further!

The folk at Kris 'n' Good Books are overwhelmed by the awesome of their new service which provides readers with books in 140 characters or less!

Check these out...

"First there was war and then there was peace. The end."

"A manipulative bitch, who lives in a big white house with a girl's name, eventually gets what's coming to her. The end."

"Girl + sparkly vampire + werewolf = much angst & pedobear r/ships. The end."

"The boy who didn't die didn't, but he who shall not be named did. The end."

"Altho there was a lot of pride & prejudice, the dude & the chick fell in love with each other. & Colin Firth gets wet. The end."

Get your @KrisNotes today!

maybe it's me, but...

2011-06-06T08:00:00.003+08:00

I just created a new category for historical romance covers...

I call it Regency Butt.

What do you think?

guesting

2011-06-03T00:30:00.017+08:00

You'll never guess what I'm talking about for the next couple of days...

It's kinda like being a DIK...

But not...

author fan letter blog crawl

2011-06-01T12:30:00.002+08:00

It is ~~because I'm so awesome~~ my honour and privilege to start off Kassa's (aka 'You can take that star and shove it!') Epic Author Fandom Blog Crawl.

*huge round of applause*

Thank you. Thank you. It is true. Kassa recognises me as her Alpha.

Oh, and tomorrow is the wonderful Leontine's turn so be sure to check out who she will be loving on.

*clears throat*

As was the case last year, there has been much speculation about to whom I would write my author fan letter.

I can only assume this is because you are all wondering who could possibly match my own awesomeness and that of the absofuckinglutely amazing *hand to heart* Sir Terry, as opposed to implying I have a one track mind and am completely lacking in any kind of imagination.

*sociopathicrainbowtroutstareofdeath*

So, without further ado, I give you my fan letter.

You're welcome.

Dear Georgette Heyer,

Right now there are probably a whole heap of people looking like total dicks because (a) they thought my infatuation with *hand to heart* Sir Terry would blind me to Teh Win of others, and (b) they assumed my rabid avoidance of all things historical fiction-y extended to epicness of authors such as yourself, and (c) they were deluded enough to think they could possibly predict my awesome.

Little could the dumbarses begin to fathom, however, is that I bow down to the author known as the Mother of the Historical and Regency Romance Genres.

5 Things I Really, Truly Like About You

1. You've already moved on from this world, which means I won't have to worry about having to kill you ~~the way I do about *hand to heart* Sir Terry~~ in the case of a zombie apocalypse.

2. Proof of the fact you wrote bloody good historical romance and contemporary crime fiction ~~meaning I don't have the urge to compare your stories to *hand to heart* Sir Terry's~~ is that between us the Mumma and I own every single one of your books and, in some cases, more than one copy.

3. Your integrity as an author of historical fiction resulted in meticulously researched books which ~~, like the building of *hand to heart* Sir Terry's Discworld,~~ catch the imagination of the reader and envelop them in the richly detailed world of days gone by.

4. Unlike a few of those who have come after you, never did you fall into the trap of writing insipid female protagonists just because you were writing historical fiction. Instead, as was done by your idol Jane Austen ~~and as *hand to heart* Sir Terry's are today~~, your female main characters are strong, resourceful, unique and found heroes who fell in love with them regardless of how they were perceived by others - the very best of the romantic tropes.

5. You were the first romance author I ever read and it is because of you I fell in love with the genre from which I still get so much enjoyment some 25 years later. This means I will forever be grateful to you and that your wonderful work will always have a special place in my heart ~~and not even *hand to heart* Sir Terry can compete with that~~.

Now, if only some of the so-called historical romance authors of today would take a page out of your book... in a totally non-plagiarist-y way, of course...

Yours very sincerely,

Kris of Kris 'n' Good Books

PS - *hand to heart* Sir Terry,

maybe it's me, but...

2011-05-30T05:31:00.000+08:00

I took this screen shot last week cos it was bugging the hell out of me.

What's with the lassoey font?

You think maybe the cowboy theme wasn't obvious enough to readers??

Weird.

random awesomeness

2011-05-27T00:15:00.002+08:00

Finally.

A diagnosis.

encounters with my baby brother: 14

2011-05-25T07:00:00.004+08:00

A little while ago the Baby Brother had a bad back so when he rang early one morning I offered to go and do a grocery shop for him.

The BB: Nah. I went yesterday.

Me: Well, I guess it was good that you got out of the house, but I can get you more stuff if you want.

The BB: Nah. I have enough food for a few days.

Me: Why don't you just do a big shop? You know, so you would be okay for more than a few days.

The BB: Then I would have to take a trolley instead of one of the handbasket things.

Me: So?

The BB: I don't trust myself with a trolley cos it is too tempting to mow those other fuckers in the store down.

Me: This is true.

We are so much alike.

Poor him.

dear publisher

2011-05-23T00:15:00.010+08:00

Dear Douche

You know I bloody well hate it when you change the design of a book cover mid series, but to do it a third time?!

What the fuck is the matter with you?!

Does no one in there understand the value of consistent branding? Never mind the phrase 'Beware A Pissed Off Reader With A Machete'??

Geezus.

You suck big, fat, hairy donkey ballz with jock-itch.

Insincerely, me.

pre-rapture confession

2011-05-20T08:11:00.002+08:00

Dear all

Given the fact that I will be joining all the other awesome peeps in Heaven on Saturday, I thought I'd take the opportunity to get my confession out of the way before the mad rush.

You're welcome.

1. I don't really like any of you. I'm just pretty good at faking it.

2. I also hate m/m romance and erotica. I've only been reading this crap to be part of the latest bandwagon. I'm all about fads.

3. In fact, the romance genre as a whole sucks. It's all a bunch of rainbowy butterfly farting drivel created for hard-up spinsters and lonely wives who should just bite the bullet and buy themselves a bloody dildo already.

4. All of you who think ebooks are 'real' books are just fucking weird. Also, they will never catch on. Plus, they wouldn't nearly be as useful in a zombie apocalypse as print books. These are important things that should be considered. Indeed, I was planning a campaign to get a warning label put on ebooks which said 'CAN'T BE USED IN AN APOCALYPSE. TOLD YOU YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT PRINT, DUMBARSE'. I guess I have to ditch that now. Bummer.

5. My name is Kris, but I'm not really a girl. The person who went to America last year was actually some random freckly chick who I gave a plane ticket to in return for her pretending to be me. So if you hated her guts that's totally cool. I'm actually a het guy studying the phenomena of online personas and their relationship with schizophrenic wanktardiness and someone suggested I focus on the online reading community. Needless to say that it has provided some pretty awesome case studies. I also thought it would help me make friends. Har. Har. Not really. See Number 1.

6.

Hope you all have a great couple of last days.

Not.

Yours sincerely,

Kris of Kris 'n' Good Books.

PS - If I'm still here on Sunday, let's just forget this ever happened.

owning words

2011-05-18T00:15:00.003+08:00

Do I have your attention?

Good, cos this is probably a post best to be avoided given the self-indulgent rambling which follows.

You've been warned.

Once upon a time, two girls with 'ris' in their names had a discussion about a book. The freckled, chubby one tried - unsuccessfully - to explain to her tall, gluten-free mate why the frequent use of the word 'slut' made her extremely uncomfortable. 'Yes,' said the occasionally-wiser-but-only-cos-she's-old-er 'ris', 'though don't you think because it was the character in question calling himself a slut that he actually took ownership of the word?' The pig-tailed one pondered this and acknowledged - reluctantly and would always deny it forevermore - her soul-friend-in-black was right. The end.

Or was it??

What made me remember this chat with Chris about Heidi Cullinan's Special Delivery was a recent conversation I had with someone which left me feeling very upset and hurt.

I talked about it with the Mumma, who hit the nail on the head when she said the other person had bought into and was reinforcing the stigma; the stigma associated with depression, that is.

Mumma's insight made me think again about words and how hurtful they can be.

Yet, at the same time, words can be extraordinarily positive and lead to empowerment. Especially when you take back words that have had or still have negative connotations and make them your own.

Like 'slut'.

Like 'cunt'.

Like 'gay'.

Or like 'mental illness'.

So, as much as I hate my depression at times and as much as I go through phases of wishing I could be different, I am not ashamed of the fact that I have a mental illness.

My name is Kris and I have depression mixed with a strong splash of OCD and a hint of ADD and anxiety.

And, if you don't like it, well, you can go and fuck yourself.

I absolutely refuse to be ashamed of who I am.

books that sucker you in: super star finds twu wuv

2011-05-16T00:15:00.017+08:00

Reading the above story reminded me how much I like romances involving a closeted - for whatever reason - celebrity finding twu wuv with an ordinary guy.

Others I've really enjoyed include K A Steele's To The Highest Bidder and T C Blue's Conventions series.

Are they realistic??

Probably not.

But, fuck it, who doesn't like a fairy tale happy ending!

This is romance, after all. :)

ratings and... THE FUCK?!

2011-05-14T09:03:00.000+08:00

So I started reading Katiebabs chook's post about the latest wankfestry going on all the while thinking 'yeah, yeah, same old crap' when suddenly...

O.o

WHAT.

THE.

FUCK.

Some peepo are turning into abusive arseholes on goodreads because they bought a book based on a review and then ended up not liking like it??

What are they lemmings and can't think for themselves?

Or maybe the reviewer is part of some super seekrit publisher's plot trialling auto-suggestive book pimpage?

Which is obviously a failure cos it only seems to work on wankity fucktards.

Geezus kerrist. What a bunch of total bullshit.

No one held a bloody gun to your head, dickhead, so take some responsibility for your own actions and stop behaving like a douche.

/rant

ratings and what i'd like to see

2011-05-11T00:15:00.004+08:00

I think a book review blog along the lines of Wayne's World would be full of win.

Also, the scha-wing??

Totally perfect for the rating of Teh Smut.

one of my fave book stores

2011-05-09T07:08:00.000+08:00

So on Saturday after lunch with the Mumma and the Stepmumma ~~and the double-whammy guilt trip about looking after myself~~, the Mumma and I went to my tame book store to pick up the gazillion books she had ordered.

I love this place and the three girls who work there. I seriously do.

There is nothing like walking into a bookstore and feeling at home, right?

Now imagine if that place had bookshelves filled with romance, which was all categorised correctly, and where the staff knew what they were talking about AND were more than happy to chat about recent reads and give recommendations.

It's heaven. *dreamy sigh*

Anyways, the Mumma walked out with her two bags of books. *I know. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree in this family. Obviously* I left with the whole two books I'd wanted. *Willpower. I haz it. Occasionally.*

AND the two m/m romances one of the girls had picked up for me at RT in LA.

AND a personalised autograph from Rachel Caine who was recently here.

How cool is that!

How cool are they!

Told you I love 'em. *GRIN*

Seriously though, if you are in Oz, you can't look past Temptation: The Romance Bookstore. They are Teh Awesomesauce.

Oh, and they ship overseas.

You're welcome.

*hehehe*

random awesomeness

2011-05-07T07:33:00.001+08:00

Something we all need to remember.

Especially in the down times.

break time... again...

2011-05-04T06:26:00.000+08:00

encounters with my baby brother: 13

2011-05-02T00:15:00.004+08:00

Me: So, did you watch any of the Royal Wedding last night?

The Baby Brother: Hell no.

Me: *snort*

The BB: That's right. I refuse to participate in the Prince marrying well below his station.

Me: *mouth hanging open*

The BB: There's something wrong with the world when a Royal marries for love. *ponders* And apparently I've been watching The Tudors too much.

Me: *dies*

things that make you go O_o

2011-04-30T00:15:00.007+08:00

Since when has this 'author's cut' thing been happening or have I just not noticed?

Anyone have any idea how it works? Or is it basically the same deal as a Director's Cut, but with more pasting than cutting?

Especially of sex scenes one imagines.

dear publisher and/or author

2011-04-28T00:15:00.070+08:00

Dear Publisher/s and/or Author/s

Two thumbs up for recently producing and creating m/m romances set in the Land of Oz. That's pretty awesome.

What's not so great is the whole use of American idioms and language in what is meant to be an Australian story.

Well, to be completely honest, it's more than 'not so great'.

It's completely and utterly fucked.

For example, 'shift' is a doing word. That is, you 'shift' something. It is definitely not a car. For future reference, a car with gears and a clutch thingy is called a 'manual' here.

Yeah. Not really that similar, is it.

Also, we Aussies don't go outside to 'grill'. That would be something healthy people do inside their house; hopefully in the kitchen. We Aussies throw shrimps and ~~roadkill~~ other stuff on the 'barbie'. That would be our slang for a barbecue.

Yeah. That may sound familiar to some of you.

Oh, and that argument about changing words so Americans readers can understand what's going on??
(a) I'm pretty sure most of them aren't as stupid as you think they are,
(b) don't be so bloody lazy,
(c) that's why God invented Google, and
(d) the rest of the world manages to deal with it so get a friggin' clue already!

Geezus.

Yours sincerely,

Kris of Kris 'n' Good Books.

in which kris struggles with the dark side

2011-04-26T06:11:00.000+08:00

Having a Royal Wedding and Anzac Day in the same week has me torn between the Empire and the Rebellion.

At times like this, there is only one thing to do.

Help me, Obi-Kang Kenobi.

You're my only hope.

a kris 'n' good books challenge: what's wrong with a guilty pleasure?

2011-04-24T09:30:00.008+08:00

I'm sure many of us have a book or an author we turn to whenever we're in the mood for something light and fluffy.

A guilty pleasure.

One of my so-called guilty pleasures, if the above cover wasn't obvious enough, is m/m author Amber Kell.

Rocket science, they ain't. Stereotypical, they are. Satisfying, yep.

And there's also no doubt in my mind there are probably people reading this post right now and thinking that I've gone completely mental.

But, at the end of the day, isn't that all a reader really wants? To finish a book and think 'not bad' or 'I liked that' or 'that was okay. now, I wonder what this one will be like?'.

Does a book always have to blow you away or leave you champing at the bit for more? Can't you just want to be entertained for an hour or so?

I wonder sometimes if readers, myself included, have become lost in the quagmire which this blogging and reviewing community can be and have forgotten that we read for enjoyment.

That many of us started reading romance because it's fun.

Who gives a flying fuck if it doesn't always make sense! It's happily-ever-after stuff, ferchrissake.

My challenge to all of you is to choose a book or an author you might ordinarily be embarrassed about admitting you love and celebrate them!

Guilty pleasure? Fuck that.

Stop feeling like there's something wrong with the stories you like.

Besides... guilt-free sounds so much better anyway.

vampire ponderings (part somethingorother)

2011-04-23T00:15:00.005+08:00

Reading about how much Amy Lane loves the phrase anal cherry reminded me of something I've been wondering about vampires.

It is so related.

Anyhoo...

So, if you're a virgin when you get vamped and then you have sex - let's face it, everyone knows that becoming a vampire turns you into a horny, blood thirsty beast without any sparkly principles - , does your hymen or anal cherry eventually come back because of the regeneration thing?

If so, I don't see the hymenoplasty industry surviving after the Big Supernatural reveal happens in 2012.

You know I'm right.

the kris 'n' good books review policy: the fineprint

2011-04-21T00:15:00.003+08:00

PS - Oh, and if you still actually approach me with a review request after all that, I will either (a) assume you're completely fucking whacked and delete your email immediately or (b) accept it as an obvious offer to take the total piss out of you.

the kris 'n' good books review policy

2011-04-19T00:15:00.011+08:00

The Kris 'n' Good Books Review Policy

1. I don't do reviews on request because I'm too lazy.

2. I might change my mind if you ask me nicely (ie bribe me with pron).

3. Highly unlikely, though.

4. Still, if I did review your book, don't expect me to be nice about it because I'm not.

5. Which you would have known had you actually read some of the crap on my blog.

6. In addition to being aware of the whole #1 thing.

7. Also, my so-called reviews basically consist of 4-5 paragraphs and I don't rate.

8. Here. I don't rate here because I don't like ratings. However, I do rate at goodreads.

9. The only thing I'm consistent with is my bad attitude and my ratings. I am the fucking bell curve, despite being referred to as a 'hard' rater.

10. This makes me right, btw.

11. Oh, and I don't always explain my dis/likes thoroughly so best to fuck off now if you expect that.

12. And I do occasionally have a fangurl moment, especially when it comes to Sir Terry; the stuff of epics against whom all other authors are judged ~~and fail~~.

13. Scared?? You should be.

14. Mostly because if you send me hate mail or diss me in any way - and I'll find out - trust me on this - my gossip network is full of teh awesome - I will bitch about you, not only behind your back; that's a given, but where other readers can see for themselves your feet of clay.

15. If I reviewed, that is.

things that make you go O_o

2011-04-17T07:15:00.000+08:00

Hypothetical question 1:

Say an author reads a review of one of their books and it's all positive bar one thing - in fact, the reviewer gives it 4+ stars - how do you think they might react? By saying thanks very much for explaining why that particular aspect didn't work for you, which the reviewer did and which all authors say they want? Or by giving the reviewer, which is someone with whom the author had been friendly up until this particular review, the cut direct?

Hypothetical question 2:

Say an author reads a review of one of their books and it's all positive bar one thing - in fact, the reviewer gives it 4+ stars - how do you think they might react? By saying thanks very much for explaining why that particular aspect didn't work for you, which the reviewer did and which all authors say they want? Or by not responding to the review, which is something that authors recommend not be publicly done, yet writing an indirect post about it - sort of like this one - on their personal site where their fans can come out and stroke their ego?

Yeah.

It makes me wonder about pots and kettles too.

maybe it's me, but...

2011-04-15T00:15:00.009+08:00

It's not only the copious amounts of sex scenes in romance and erotica which have me skipping pages at the moment, but also the dreaded, seemingly endless fuck.

This is me...

'Yay! They're finally smexing!'

Later...

*roll eyes* 'Oh, ferchrissake, would you cum already!'

Later still...

'Well, obviously you weren't that close, you bullshiter.'

And in the next moment...

'NO! Dear God people, have you not heard of chaffing?!'

Yeah.

Colour me totally convinced.

Not.

a readerly family

2011-04-13T06:40:00.000+08:00

My family - well, mainly my Mumma's family - is a readerly one.

We love books. We love to read. And we love sharing these with each other.

In fact, it is not unknown for us to visit each other with a book in hand and just sit there reading together.

It's just something we've always done. It's natural for us.

I was reminded of this yesterday when my amazing - and very patient - Mumma kept me company for the 8 or so hours it took for me to get an iron infusion.

After discovering the book she'd borrowed from my library was one she'd already read before, I gave her the one I'd brought with me.

It was My Most Excellent Year by Steve Kluger.

I napped, fidgeted, whinged, took my IV thing - we named 'Earnest' - for walkies, and basically drove her and the nurses nuts, but I also watched her enjoying the book.

As the end of the infusion got closer and closer, I watched her more and more, and asked her where she was up to in the storyline when she started to smile or laugh out loud or was touched by a particular moment.

This was when she began to read bits and pieces out loud to me and we talked about scenes we especially liked.

This is something my family has always done too.

We read out the things we think others will like.

So, there I was... a grumpy, 36 year old Kris laying in a hospital bed and hooked up to Earnest with my Mumma reading to me.

Cool, right. :)

random awesomeness

2011-04-11T00:15:00.001+08:00

story of my life: lb gregg and kris see dead people

2011-04-09T05:37:00.002+08:00

I have been sharing some of the truly weird shit which seems to happen constantly with me on my tumblr blog and it reminded me of a co-incident that occurred last year when I was chatting with L B Gregg (aka LB, Lisabea, etc, etc).

Basically we were having one of our standard 'let's bitch about everyone and everything' sessions. I do this with a few others too. Apparently I'm pretty good at it. :P

Anyhoo, the trash talk included me telling her I thought Dudleytown sucked because it didn't have enough frottage in it, but that the scene in the open grave would ensure she retained her 'Queen of the M/M Frott' crown.

We went on to chat a bit about the perviness levels associated with graves and man love, which was when the phone rang...

It was a person who I'd become great mates with in one of the towns covered by the job I just ditched. The convo went like this...

Her: *slightly freaked* You know how they're digging that trench for new water pipes?

Me: *keeping one eye on the chat* Which one is that?

Her: The one near the old cemetery.

Me: *attenHUT* You're going to tell me they found a grave, aren't you.

Her: Yes.

Me: No. Fucking. Way.

Yeah.

Swear to God, not even I could make up shit like this.

Needless to say, I immediately told LB that she would never in a gazillion years guess what had just happened AND I had a great idea she should incorporate in the story.

She didn't though.

The rude heifer.

guesting

2011-04-07T06:06:00.001+08:00

I've been given a very temporary visa to DIK and am talking about bookstores being a cure for my OCD.

Or at least part of it anyways...

angelia's story: your choices

2011-04-05T05:30:00.037+08:00

Your prompts for the latest ~~victim's~~ author's choose your own m/m story are...

*drum roll*

1. part of the setting ~ an anger management retreat at a monastery

2. background to one of the main protags ~ one of them is petrified that ginger-haired people are going to take over the world

3. another character/s ~ an alien who has run away to Earth to become a cheerleader

4. a conflict ~ a ghost gerbil that keeps on moving things

5. an object/phrase to be mentioned in the story somewhere ~ a sex education class for virgins of all types AND a red velvet ~~cupcake~~ corset

*satisfied sigh*

I so love it when there is an AND. You have done me proud, my vegemite muffins.

Poor Angelia Sparrow.

*snicker*

random awesomeness

2011-04-04T00:15:00.006+08:00

Monday??

Bring it.